The Pursuit of Meaningful Values
People often base their self-esteem on what they own or how much money they make. We can become shallow when we focus on wealth/success over deeper values. It’s a part of life but not enough for happiness in and of itself. You’ll run into problems (for instance, addiction or obesity) if you focus on superficial pleasure.
You’ll be frustrated if you feel you must always be correct. Also, you can only learn from mistakes if you admit them. Sometimes life stinks. Being positive is a way of avoiding problems rather than solving them. Our culture tells us always to be positive and accepting of everything. — But to stand for something, you must make choices, accepting some things and rejecting others that contradict your values. You can only control your actions — thus, you are responsible for everything you do.
Reject material wealth and pleasure and devote yourself to your duty (whatever that may be). A person’s life is finite and insignificant compared to the world. We become addicted to the unreal and fake and pursue superficial things because more is better. We become frustrated when we fall short of society’s expectations and overwhelm ourselves with all we are urged to be and do — entitled to always feel good and go out of our way to avoid dealing with pain, failure, and challenges. You can’t meet satisfaction without experiencing pain, struggle, and loss. Anything worthwhile has a negative side (for instance, being fit requires painful exercise). If you try to avoid the negative, you don’t experience the valuable thing.
The key to a happy, meaningful life is to give a f*ck about less and focus on what is most valuable and important to you. Be comfortable with your values instead of following society’s dictates and realize that simplifying your priorities, rather than pursuing everything, makes you happier. When you stop obsessing, the pressure is off, and things often work out. Usually, the person least interested in a result ends up attaining it.
The important thing is that solving problems improves your life. Blame and denial provide a “high;” you feel superior because you believe you’ve done everything right and are a victim of circumstances. You blame others or your circumstances for feeling good in the short term. But for a long time, this makes you feel helpless, depressed, and angry.
Everybody should determine what values and beliefs they hold and follow them. Yet, those beliefs and values must be personal and not instilled by someone else.
The purpose of emotions is to provide feedback — to say something is good or bad for us. Emotions are only part of life, not its entirety. It has produced delusional people who can’t handle challenges or adversity. Feelings point you toward helpful change, but they aren’t a worthwhile goal in and of themselves. You are not unique: Millions of others share your experiences and problems. You can’t have a painless life; instead, you must choose what kind of pain or struggle is meaningful to you.
[¹]: The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck: A Counterintuitive Approach to Living a Good Life
