Complains destroy our character
Building our character requires changing our habits in ways that help us grow as human beings. There are several habits that I’m trying to follow, from waking up early, exercising 4 days a week, or learning something new daily. But none of those habits has to be as beneficial to my well-being as avoiding complaints.
Taking responsibility helps us embrace reality. Responsibility, as the name suggests, is about the ability to respond. A complaint is an opposite of having a proper response to any situation that we might confront. It makes us passive. Complaints allow our inner impulses to control the situation by succumbing to every whim. We make ourselves the victim of circumstances.
To have an impulse and to resist it, to sit with it and examine it, to let it pass by like a bad smell — this is how we develop spiritual strength. This is how we become who we want to be in this world. Stillness Is the Key by Ryan Holiday
Avoiding complaints and taking responsibility is about the pursuit of happiness and tranquility.
We can’t enforce happiness. It is something that ensues. To attain happiness, we must take control of our inner state to correctly interpret our living experiences.
What I “discovered” was that happiness is not something that happens. It is not the result of good fortune or random chance. It is not something that money can buy or power commands. It does not depend on outside events, but, rather, on how we interpret them. Happiness, in fact, is a condition that must be prepared for, cultivated, and defended privately by each person. People who learn to control inner experience will be able to determine the quality of their lives, which is as close as any of us can come to being happy. Flow by Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi
We reflect our inner state to the world. Complaints make us passive by removing all responsibility off our hands and reflecting them towards others. Instead of pointing fingers in the wrong direction, we will have more control if we direct our energies to change what we want to see.
“We mirror the world. All the tendencies present in the outer world are to be found in the world of our body. If we could change ourselves, the tendencies in the world would also change. As a man changes his own nature, so does the attitude of the world change towards him. This is the divine mystery supreme. A wonderful thing it is and the source of our happiness. We need not wait to see what others do.” Mahatma Gandhi
Avoiding complaints altogether is easier said than done. I am still practicing this new habit regularly. I think just the intention is making me aware of how often I complain about something. That’s a win in my book. It is not about reaching perfection but attaining perfection.
I found through this journey that I am becoming more honest with myself and gaining more compassion for others.
When you take full ownership, there is no room for anything less than honest candor with yourself and with others. The 12 Week Year by Brian P. Moran
And by taking full ownership, we indirectly will be creating more opportunities for ourselves.
“The moment you accept responsibility for EVERYTHING in your life is the moment you tap into your power to change ANYTHING in your life.” The Miracle Morning by Hal Erold & Robert Kiyosaki
The passiveness of complaints comes from the fact that there are a small number of things that we can’t control. Instead of losing hope, there’s at least one thing that we can always do. If we cannot change a situation in terms of its outcome, we at least can control our reaction to it.
Forces beyond your control can take away everything you possess except one thing, your freedom to choose how you will respond to the situation. You cannot control what happens to you in life, but you can always control what you will feel and do about what happens to you. Man’s Search for Meaning by Viktor E. Frankl
