Say No Without Burning Bridges

Communication is more about staying within conversation rather than being clear about what we are doing. Transparency makes all parties in any interaction aware of everything that might affect each other.

Communication is an integral part of our daily lives that transcends all boundaries. It encompasses how we use our voice, including the tone, volume, and pace of our speech. Show genuine appreciation, warmth, and high energy when interacting with others. People like those who like them, so make it clear that you’re interested in the other person. Consider what they know you don’t, and focus on learning from them during the interaction. Listen with intent by asking specific questions about what they’re saying in real-time, making them feel heard and valued. To be a good listener, you must show that you’ve understood the other person’s words and encourage them to keep talking. Mindful communication involves listening and engaging with others to promote awareness.

To say no, shift your focus, and learn to say yes “slowly”. Committing without understanding the request or why you’re being asked can lead to trouble. Ask questions such as why me? Who else have you asked? What do you mean by urgent? When does it need to be completed? If I can only do a part, what part is required? What should I remove from my plate to complete this task? What is our winning aspiration? Framing the choice as “winning” eliminates mediocrity as an option. Knowing the game and who you’re playing against is crucial to winning. What capabilities must be in place to succeed? How can you turn weaknesses into strengths? Advice is more effective when rated. Asking questions increases the chances of the information being remembered. Emphasize curiosity over direction.

[¹]: The Coaching Habit: Say Less, Ask More & Change the Way You Lead Forever