Coaching Strategies for Communication
Communication is dynamic, changing in real-time.
The pattern we want to break is focusing on the wrong problem. When we do this, we engage in purposeless work that can decrease motivation and engagement. Performance coaching can help address specific issues that extinguish or fuel the fire. Development coaching shifts the focus from the problem to the person dealing with it.
Taking responsibility for your freedom is simple. Your brain assesses whether you’re with or against it and evaluates your understanding of the future. Clarity creates a sense of safety. Power dynamics depend on the situation, not formal titles. Autonomy is crucial because it determines the potential for reward and engagement in the environment. Feeling like you have no choice reduces safety.
When trying to get ideas from others, it’s important not to force your thoughts onto them. Instead, focus on their existing beliefs. You can make significant progress by giving them three to five answers. If you’re trying to resolve the core issue, ask, “What’s the real challenge here?” If the first response is unclear, ask, “What else is a challenge here for you?” Using “And what else?” can help them develop more options while allowing you to stay silent. Refrain from giving disguised advice in the form of questions. Focus on the underlying problem instead of the first one. Coaching should be tailored to the individual, so ask, “What’s the real challenge here for you?” until you get at least three options.
It’s better to start with “What” instead of “Why” when asking questions. Six of the Seven Essential Questions are “What” questions. Reframe your inquiries to start with “What” to help foster understanding. Instead of asking, “Why did you do that?”, ask, “What were you hoping for here?”. Instead of “Why did you think this was a good idea?”, ask, “What made you choose this course of action?”. Instead of “Why are you bothering with this?”, ask, “What’s important for you here?”.
The question “What do you want?” affects rank and autonomy. You can use the miracle question to encourage envisioning improvement. “Suppose a miracle happens overnight. How will you know things have improved tomorrow morning?”
Before accepting commitments, make sure you have a deeper understanding of them. Don’t jump straight into action mode and offer solutions. Instead, listen after you ask a question. Remember that you have many response options, regardless of the answer you receive. The secret to saying “No” is shifting your focus and learning to say “Yes” more.
Ask clarifying questions like “Why are you asking me? Whom else have you asked? What do you mean by urgent? According to what standard must this be completed? By when?” If you can’t do everything but can do a part, ask about the specific position. Make room by removing other tasks and focusing on the winning aspiration to set the stage for excellence. Identify the necessary capabilities and how to transform them into enduring strengths. Rate advice more and engage others with questions that stimulate self-generated solutions instead of giving them answers. Embrace curiosity over the excessive direction.
[¹]: The Coaching Habit: Say Less, Ask More & Change the Way You Lead Forever
