Boosting Engagement and Productivity
The more we work with no real purpose, the less engaged and motivated we are. The less engaged we are, the less likely we are to find and create Great Work. Ask one question at a time. There’s a place for small talk. An almost fail-safe way to start a chat that turns into a real conversation is the question, “What’s on your mind?” It’s a Goldilocks question, walking a fine line so it is neither too open and broad nor too narrow and confining.
Coaching for performance is about addressing and fixing a specific problem or challenge. It’s putting out the fire or building up the fire, or banking the fire. Coaching for development is about turning the focus from the issue to the person dealing with the problem, the person managing the fire. When you’re talking about people, you’re not talking about them. You’re talking about a relationship, your role in this relationship, that might currently be less than ideal. We are what we give our attention to. When you use “And what else?” you’ll get more and often better options.
Better options lead to better decisions. Better decisions lead to tremendous success. An intense “wrap it up” variation of “And what else?” is “Is there anything else?” That version of “And what else?” invites closure while leaving the door open for whatever needs to be said. “And what else?” is the quickest and easiest way to uncover and create new possibilities. So as you ask, “And what else?” the goal isn’t to generate a bazillion options.
Taking responsibility for your freedom is easy to do. The brain asks, “Are you with me, or are you against me?” The brain is figuring out, “Do I know the future or don’t I?” If what’s going to happen next is clear, the situation feels safe. It’s a relative thing, and it depends not on your formal title but on how power is being played out in the moment. “Are you more important or less important than I am?” is the question the brain is asking, and if you’ve diminished my status, the situation feels less secure. “Do I get a say or don’t I?” That’s the question the brain is asking as it gauges your degree of autonomy in any situation. If you believe you have a choice, then this environment is more likely to be a place of reward and engagement. If you think you don’t have an intention so much, then it becomes less safe for you.
Stick to questions starting with “What” and avoid questions beginning with “Why.” It’s no accident that six of the Seven Essential Questions in the Coaching Habit are What questions. Reframe the question so it starts with “What.” So, as some examples, instead of “Why did you do that?” ask, “What were you hoping for here?” Instead of “Why did you think this was a good idea?” ask, “What made you choose this course of action?” Instead of “Why are you bothering with this?” ask, “What’s important for you here?”. The question “What do you want?” affects the drivers of rank and autonomy. “Suppose that tonight, while you’re sleeping, a miracle happens. When you get up tomorrow morning, how will you know things have improved?” The miracle question helps people imagine what better (and much better) looks like. The key here is to coach only the person before you. “I understand some of what’s going on with [insert name of the person or the situation]. What’s the real challenge here for you?”. “I have a sense of the challenge. What’s the real challenge here for you?”.
It’s essential to realize that regardless of the answer you receive, you have a range of responses available. The old habit you’re breaking is your jumping into helpful, action mode. You’re giving the solution and answer and adding something to your to-do list. You’re assuming you know the request, even though the proposal hasn’t been made. One of the most exciting things you can do after asking a question is listen to the answer.
The pattern we’re breaking here is overworking the wrong problem, so the trigger is any time you start to focus on a particular challenge. It’s to see what ideas that person already has (while stopping you from leaping in with your thoughts). If you get three to five answers, you’ve made significant progress. When you’re trying to find the heart of the issue, and you ask, “What’s the real challenge here for you?” and he offers up a timid or vague or insipid first answer, pushes deeper by asking, “And what else is a challenge here for you?”. “And what else?” works so well because it keeps people generating options and keeps you shut up. Stop offering up advice with a question mark attached. Focus on the real problem, not the first problem.
[¹]: The Coaching Habit: Say Less, Ask More & Change the Way You Lead Forever
